don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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