I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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