are you so shy because you have an std?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize