My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
