i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
