This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
