Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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