idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
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He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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