so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
