Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
