I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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