Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
