I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
