VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
