and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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