So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
