because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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