Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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