Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!