It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize