he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
