Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just puked most of my soul out..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
