even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
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I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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