I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
