she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
