4 words: hood of his car
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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