Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
