God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
