After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My cat gives me a boner
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
