More tranny stories later!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
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I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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