absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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