I am in a vortex of obligation.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
