she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
As shirtless as possible
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize