Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was like giving head to a cactus.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
