I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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