it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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