Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
