I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
