once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
honey bunches of taint.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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