tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
