Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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