I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
