I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.