the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean