I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
