it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
