Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
