You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
