Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize