3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
