someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't think brook has ever known best
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
