My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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