lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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