so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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