Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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