p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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