when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
