Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
