that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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