Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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