The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
